Shawn Donovan was the man I had secretly loved for as long as I could remember. When I was younger, I often visited the Donovans to help my foster mother with housework. During those times, when hunger gnawed at my stomach, I would watch Leta indulge in her snacks with a mix of longing and envy. It was Shawn who would often come over and invite me to join him. But I was too shy to accept, especially with Leta looking down on me, her disdainful gaze making me feel dirty and unworthy. Every time Leta was done scolding me, Shawn would steeped in, making me feel better,
“You don’t have to feel inferior. Everyone is equal in this world. Don’t let her words gets you,” he said softly.
From that day on, I developed a terrible crush on him. He became the greatest source of light; the star brightened my darkest days. His smile was warm like a fresh honey cake, golden and glistening from the bakery oven. But I was always a coward. I never had the courage to tell him how I felt and I was forced to be content with admiring him from a distance.
This went on for years, from the time I was twelve until I turned twenty-two. But everything changed on the day of the engagement banquet. As the clinking of glasses filled the air and the elders exchanged lighthearted banter, he broke his silence with a single question,
“How is Leta doing?”
At the mention of her name, the mood shifted. The room seemed to lighten, as if talking about her made everything better. I, however, shrank back into the corner, retreating into silence, while Shawn shot me a cold glance, muttering, “You’re not fit for the spotlight.”
His words struck me and I internalized them deeply, fueling my determination to change. I dedicated myself to learning the manners and etiquette of high society, bit by bit. I wanted nothing more than to be a good wife for him, to prove myself worthy of his love, to make sure I wouldn’t let him down. But what had that effort led to?
I learned belatedly that this marriage of convenience was originally just an exchange of interests. The Donovan family, entrenched in their lineage for three generations, needed a woman who could bear sons to continue their legacy. They knew too well the dangers that could accompany such a decision and the thought of losing their only daughter was unthinkable.